I am a Christian snob.

I am a Christian snob.

I could tell you a lot of things about me, but that might be the most important thing. It is also the riskiest thing I could say on a blog (a goofy and far-removed way of me knowing you or you knowing me).

As a self-proclaimed Christian snob, I also care too much about what people think about me. As I sit in the judgment seat of other people and decide if I want to know them, I am constantly wondering if there is another Christian snob amongst them checking me out as well. Are they thinking the same thing?

Lately I have been reading dangerous books. Radical, Crazy Love, In the Name of Jesus, Living on the Edge. These are all books that are bursting my internal monologue bubble that constantly reminds me: “Liz, you are only worth as much as your last performance.”

What if what I do has NO bearing on how much people love me? What if I don’t have anything to prove to anyone? What if I don’t have to worry about people liking me back? And then, what if…God loves me the same forever? What if God’s love for me has NOTHING to do with my performance?

A friend once told me about a little formula called “The Myth of Measure”. Here it is:

Your opinion of me + My performance = My self-worth .

Do you know how many years of my life I have lived believing that to be true? There is a core belief in me that says I am only worth as much as you like me and how great my performance is. Every single performance. Every day. Every person.

The most radical thing I am doing this summer? Breaking the myth of measure. Believing that God is the one that hold my self-worth. Loving people, ALL people, without expecting love in return. Trying to not be a Christian snob. Welcome to the most challenging summer of my life.