Chapter 2: The Gallon Challenge

A few years ago, while I was a Young Life leader at a local high school, I caught wind of something spectacular. Apparently, it is physically impossible to drink a gallon of whole milk in one hour. “Impossible? I bet we could do it!” so thought a group of high school boys I knew. So, against our better judgment, a group of guy leaders decided to participate in the gallon challenge with the boys and document their scientific findings with video. Hey, it was all for the advancement of science, so what could go wrong?

(OK – let me give a little disclaimer here. I realize that this is a horrible idea. I do not support anyone actually doing this. I am a little embarrassed that I am even bringing this up, but it’s a classic hilarious moment from my life and time in ministry and, well, I am proud that I almost completed the challenge.)

We all filled up in the basement that Wednesday night and started Young Life. We sang a few songs, and then it was time to watch the tape of their highly scientific experiment. Ten guys, each armed with their own gallon of whole milk (we had learned that skim milk won’t do the trick) had one hour to drink their milk. The challenge is that you have to drink all of it. If they quit, they failed. But as we were about to see, there was another, more violent way, to fail this challenge.

Each boy started excited, they all drank half of their gallons relatively easily. Spirits were high, but the more milk they drank, the more their movements got slower and their eyelids droopy. Some of them started to sweat. Some of them took off layers of clothing in the hopes that they could “breathe through it” easier. It moved from a party atmosphere to business time pretty quickly.

And then there they were, all lined up on the balcony of one of the leaders’ apartments. Three quarters of a gallon down, one boy started to push air out of his mouth and then looked, well, frightened. He lurched his head over the side of the balcony and threw up. Now, throwing up is something we don’t like to talk about. It’s the ultimate loss of control. It’s our bodies rejecting something so quickly, and you always feel helpless. I remember if I was sick as a child, it was never more serious as when I was throwing up. That’s when doctors get called. That’s when school is out of the question. That’s when things got really serious, really fast. No matter how many times we throw up, we’re always surprised! It’s so unnatural.

But in my lifetime, I had never seen such unnatural throwing up. This boy who had just consumed the better part of a gallon of milk, was throwing that milk up. And I knew it was milk, because it was pure white in color and projecting about ten feet away from his mouth. To this day, it is one of the craziest things I had ever seen. Of course, upon seeing one boy throwing up, the other boys all threw up after him. No one finished the challenge. But watching that video, we were losing our minds. Even though I saw ten big guys fail the challenge, I thought, I bet I could do it and not throw up. I looked at some of the girls that were at Young Life that night, and they just nodded their heads back at me saying, heck yes, we want to try it, too!

Yes, you are reading this right. A group of high school girls, already seeing their more lactose tolerant friends failing at this task and throwing up, decided that they wanted to try it. Not only did I not discourage this idea, I invited them over to my house that weekend so we could all try it together. I was impressed that these girls were being so tough! How could I say no? I celebrated their boldness.

So there we were, on my back porch in North Raleigh, on a Saturday afternoon, drinking gallons of whole milk. You know where this was going, of course. So did I really, but we were all up for the challenge, and secretly, wondered what it was like to projectile vomit milk. It was a lot of milk.

You would have been proud of me. I made it farther than the other girls. Sure, we had some quitters that took a few gulps and bowed out. We had some bring Soft Batch cookies and drink milk through pink bendy straws. Clearly, they weren’t taking this seriously. They were no match for me. I wasn’t even the first one to throw up. Another leader, Taylor, was wearing black sling back heels. How can I remember her shoes after all these years? When someone throws up that much milk, all over their shoes, it’s pretty much burned in your brain.

I made it about three quarters of the way through my gallon of cold whole milk. There was a point there that I thought I would make it. That thought was quickly replaced with another, more painful thought. At that moment, I just wanted it to be over. I couldn’t take another sip. So I took a deep breath and let it all out. I will say this: I haven’t since, nor will I ever, throw up that much again. I believe it to be physically impossible. I was throwing up so long, that I could not catch my breath. I know you are reading this in disgust right now, but when we all were throwing up that milk, it was just that: pure, cold, white milk, flowing out of our mouths like rushing waterfalls. I have never been to Niagara Falls, but when I get there someday, I am confident that upon seeing it, the first thing I will think of is that Saturday on my back porch with those high school girls and our gallons of milk.

I’ve told that story many times. I’ve told it in many different allusions to the Gospel. But the core of that experience, for me, is this: we never listen to God’s warnings or advice until we ourselves can investigate that very thing that God tries to keep us from. God in His infinite wisdom knows better than me! That is a fact. And although I know that to be true in my heart, emotionally I still want to take things to the limit and find out for myself. I saw, with my own eyes, what drinking a gallon of milk does to you. A whole room of us saw that. And a whole room of us wanted to try and be the first people in history to defy those odds and not make ourselves sick. What a joke.

That level of disobedience, again, goes back to the beginning of time. Adam and Eve, in the Garden, were created by God to be with God, and they “were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:25) They had an open connection with God. They were sinless! They felt no shame. Can you imagine living just a day in this world without feeling shame? Can you imagine a place where we aren’t ashamed of our bodies, of our failures, of our past, of our secrets, of our wild emotional swings? Adam and Eve had it all.

One thing I seem to forget…a lot. Not only am I fighting against my own sin, I am fighting against an enemy. I am fighting against the one that is “more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God has made.” (Genesis 3:1) Take a break and read Genesis 3. Read it a few times and then come back to this spot.

Man oh man! The story of the fall of man explains a lot. Here is the Cliffs Notes version of the story: Satan came as a serpent and tempted the woman to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then the serpent convinces her that God would be ok with this idea, and that her eyes would be opened, and that’s a good thing, and that fruit is tasty, and she should go for it! So she got Adam in on it, and they ate that fruit, and their eyes were opened to their nakedness. Then God comes back and they—hide. They hide from God. They are ashamed. Now remember, Eve was tempted by Satan to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Thinking himself equal to God was the same thing that got Lucifer himself booted from “the mount of God” (read Ezekial 28:14-19).

When it comes to pride, we fight against the physical world and the spiritual world. The more we trust in God, the closer we get to knowing Him, the more we battle on both plains. The concept of pride, though, is a positive one. Take pride in your work, or, pride yourself on being on time. Be strong, be proud! Loud and proud!

But pride here, is not needing anything. Not needing anyone else, thinking yourself better than everyone else, being the expert, being the best, lacking nothing. I don’t know about you, but my moments of true pride, are pride in the Lord and what He has done. When I am proud of myself, I have to immediately thank God. Pride in ourselves is what moves us to make mistakes. Pride comes before a fall. Pride came before the fall of man. Pride came before the fall of man! Yet I still have to find out, on my own, if that sin will really hurt me like God says it will. So I go outside of God’s will for my life, and I fall into sin.

We have to be so careful not to live life like this. I know so many friends that came to the Lord in high school, but didn’t want to give their everyday lives up to Him. Before they knew it, they had once again chosen to turn their backs on God and live outside of His will. It is in the every day that pride creeps in. There is no scientific equation for your relationship with Jesus. It is exactly that—a relationship. In the Gospels, Jesus answered everyone that came up to him in ways they could understand. He spoke in their terms and on their level. For fisherman, he talked of fishing, for the rich young ruler, he talked of money, for the woman at the well, he talked of living water. What is it for you? In what ways is God on your level, trying to get your attention?

The ins and outs of your everyday life is what God cares about. He wants to be with you. He is crazy about you. We get scared of that. The idea of a lasting relationship is frightening. Our modern world is one of instant gratification. The days of waiting for anything are disappearing. Things are shipped overnight, paid for online, transferred immediately, authorized instantly, cooked in 30 seconds. At work, I complain that it takes thirty seconds for an email to get sent to someone, instead of the instantaneous delivery I want. When was the last time you took a walk, not to get your heart rate up and break a sweat, but just to listen to God? When was the last time you sat down, without your cell phone or your watch or your iPod, and looked at God’s creation as His captive audience?

If we want the full life that God promises, we have to go for it. “I have come so that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) We are in such a commitment-phobic society that we start to believe the lie that we don’t need to pursue God every single day. In any relationship, if you ignore the person you’re involved with, the relationship suffers and dies. God never turns His back on us, but we can turn our backs on Him. We have to be aware of that tendency and fight it. That is what the enemy wants for you: isolation.

Look at what Jesus says in Revelations 3:

“15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”


Have you ever been in a friendship or a relationship where the object of your affection is so loving and encouraging towards you that you can’t believe what you did to deserve such love? Maybe that person sends you loving emails or letters, or speaks to you in words you’ve been longing to hear. Unfortunately, those words will later break your heart. Something changes and you no longer feel that same love and affection from that person. You drift apart, you break up, you are left to heal on your own. Those words haunt you and are meaningless now, and you wonder if you will ever love or be loved like that again. Now imagine doing that over and over and over again. I wonder sometimes if I am doing that to my Father.


ave HYou didn’t think I would introduce you to the gallon challenge and not relate it to Revelations 3:16, do you? Our apathy is deadly. Our lukewarm disposition towards God can ruin us. Don’t let it. Be earnest, and repent.