Own it.

As I get older, there are a few things that I need to own.

One...I'm not an adventurous type. Rollercoasters and skydiving and bungee jumping don't get me excited. They get me nervous.

Another one...I like to go to bed early. I like to get up early. I have a routine and I really like it. As my dad used to tell me "Nothing good happens after 9pm." He was and still is SO right.

I am reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. The premise of the book is this woman, who was surrounded by death in her family, got lost in the darkness of it all and was challenged by a friend to write down on thousand things she was thankful for. It's amazing. The subtitle is: Dare to live fully right where you are.

I like this subtitle SO MUCH because I feel like, all around me, is this attitude: I can't wait for what's next. I miss how it used to be. I wish for more, I want for different, I long for how it was.

Whatever happened to living in the present?

In the book, the author cites Exodus 3:14 "God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you." She goes on to say...God is so serious about living in the present, that He calls himself I AM.

He doesn't call himself "I will be" or "I was". He is I AM. But here we are. We are "I wish for" and "I was" and "I hope to be."

I am owning my weight loss progress in this light. I lost a lot of weight last year. But then it slowed. And then it stopped. And then one bad decision turned into a lost weekend turned into a good few days turned into a bad few months. This weekend I went to Dunkin Donuts and got a dozen donuts. Just for myself. I haven't told anyone this. But I need to own this decision, so there you go.

I have been limping along, not committing, not owning a decision either way. Do I want this, or don't I? And I mean NOW. In the present. It can no longer be "I did well" or "I will do better" it HAS to be "I am doing well." Today. Right now. In the present. I AM DOING WELL.

Just like everything else, this change for me is an ongoing dialogue with God. God, how can I do this? How can I keep doing this? How will I feel in a week, a month a year? But I did so well before, remember back then? Can't we focus on the past or the future?

And you know what God's answer is every single time? I AM.

I AM.

Read that book, One Thousand Gifts. It will make you thankful for the present. And then deal with the present. The today. Because this is where God wants to meet us.

I AM. He is. So we are.

-Liz