The blog I don't want to write.

So, I went to Jamaica last week on a missions trip. I ate whatever I wanted. I didn't count calories, I didn't control my portions, I didn't obsess over my food intake, I didn't look at my body too long in the mirror everyday, my journal entries weren't consumed with asking God about my weight loss process, my impatience, my struggles, my insecurities.

My days were filled with people I love, kids that needed to be loved, community that needed care and attention, and the sick and the elderly that needed to be touched.

When it comes to my weight loss journey, my week in Jamaica has left me...confused.

When I am not constantly watching my weight, I am afraid that I am completely backsliding into old habits. When I AM contstantly watching my weight, I am afraid that I am so self-focused that I am missing what God is trying to show me.

See my problem?

For those of us that struggle with our weight, it is always on our minds. It is the underlying problem in our social situations, in our group of friends, in our homes, and in our work places. Every event I go to has food laid out lately, and now that the holidays are over and my YMCA is packed with new members wanting to get fit, I am struggling with getting back on the horse.

Last night, I had a VIVID dream that I was doing work on a pint of Ben and Jerry's. The food dreams are back, and so are my desires to attack every snack I see. When I got back from Jamaica, all I could think about was showering, sitting on my blue couch, and eating every sweet and salty American goodness that I was missing in the chicken, fish, and rice world of Jamaica.

I can't help but feel crazy selfish. I am also afraid of the scale when I have to weigh in with my trainer in the next few days. God has to work overtime in the next few days to get me back on track, and I have to find a way to not be so obsessed with my weight that I miss what God has put in front of me.

I am not kicking ass right now. I am getting my ass kicked a little bit. And that's why this is the blog that I don't really want to write, but the valleys are part of the process. I hate the valleys.

-Liz

Coming Soon...

Flew in from Jamaica last night. I have so many thoughts, it's ridiculous. My biggest thought right now is that we have a project this month to ship a container to the families in Jamaica that need clothes, mattresses, and bibles. Here is a little teaser video I did for that project. PLEASE pray about donating $50 towards a family that needs it. Each family has a container that you can shop for. Watch this awesomeness from our week in Whitehouse, Jamaica:

Jamaica tomorrow. Not a cruise. A mission.

Tomorrow I am leading a team of 16 to Jamaica to work with My Father's House ministries in Whitehouse, Westmoreland, Jamaica. I am feeling...unequipped.

I am not sure why God, throughout history, has used broken people to change the world, but He has. All through the bible I read about people who weren't ready, who made huge mistakes, who were outlaws, outcasts, and ousted by others, but God chose them.

And on this day, over 2000 years ago, God chose to walk alongside us as a baby, of all things. And a baby to an unwed mother. Not in an elaborate king's chambers, but in a manger. In a barn, surrounded by donkeys, filthy and cold.

Right now, I sit on a king size bed in my parents' house in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania surrounded by beautiful things. Tomorrow, I will stand in the middle of an impoverished country surrounded by beautiful people.

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

I would love your prayer for our week in Jamaica. I would love your prayer that I would get out of the way and let God use me. I would love your prayer that I would choose God and His will above me and my will. Because my will is freaking STRONG and I tend to make situations all about me, even when I don't mean to.

That's how deep my pride goes. Good thing God runs deeper.

-Liz

Feedback that feeds you back

Just got a great message from someone else in the weight struggle:


I just recently starting following your weight loss blog entries. Thank you for sharing! From someone else that struggles it is always encouraging to hear from others and what they are doing! Anyways.. just last night I was writing in my journal that I needed motivation. I can stay focused for a little while and then I sabotage myself! So then this morning I clicked on your blog entry and it was the perfect motivation! I needed to be reminded of my own self-worth and that my motivation is ME! Thanks for sharing!

Have I mentioned lately that you are not alone and that we are all in this together? Also, have I mentioned lately that Madonna's The Immaculate Collection is the best cd to run to? Another free tip. 

-Liz

The weight loss tip that you're not ready for.

So, as of my last weigh in, I have lost 44 pounds. I am starting to feel successful. Yes, I am slow, and I know I should have felt successful many pounds ago.

I am also starting to realize that I might be able to now share my success with other people that could be going through the same crap I've been going through and ARE going through. Yes, it's a weight loss tip. No, it has nothing to do with food and exercise. I guess a cool thing that's happened to me is that my weight loss is a by-product of me following this tip. As I type that, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. People might say this isn't a big deal or a new philosophy or a revolutionary thought of any kind. 

But they'd be wrong because I maintain that most of the world can't handle this tip. Ok, now on to the tip.

If you want to lose weight, you have to believe that you are worth it.

Actually, fill in the blank. If you want _____________ , you have to believe that you are worth it.

Get real with yourself. Are you worth it? Are you worth saving? Are you worth changing? Are you worth not settling? Are you worth all of the things that you dream of, that you want, that you pray for, that you can only imagine?

It might take you 35 years to figure that out. I hope that someone lights a fire under you and it happens quicker for you than it happened for me. Somewhere along the way, you and I stopped believing that we were worth it, that we were made for more, and that we are more than conquerors. Somebody lied to us and got us to be weak, to give up, to give in, and to settle.

Don't. Don't do that anymore. There is a first step that you need to take, and you might be the only one that knows what that step is. So take it. Have courage, and take it. The great news? We are all in it together - taking small steps that add up to 44 pounds. And more.

Fill in the blank and let's do it together.

-Liz

He’s just not that into me… and THAT IS OKAY!

So I’m about to get ridiculously uncomfortable and honest with you, like “Dear Diary” status.

My friend had recently set me up on a date, and both he and I were into the idea and looking forward to it. He waited to ask me for my number in person like a true gentlemen, and I was thrown off by this unfamiliar intentionality but it already made me feel special.  So our date came around and we had talked for hours. It was an incredible time to say the least. We had great conversation, laughed a lot, and were full of smiles. I left the date feeling happy and pleased and I was excited like any girl would be when a date goes really well.

A few hours later after the date, I got a call from him telling me that he thought I was great, but that he realized he did not want to pursue me as more than a friend.

Umm, WHAT? I was completely taken aback and blindsided. I don’t go on many dates, and I felt so confident about this one. Not to say I was doodling his name on paper or anything, but I did not think that this was going to come to such an unexpected stop within a few hours of the date itself.

My immediate thoughts were as follows: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Did I not look pretty enough? Was I not as impressive as he’d hoped? While he could not give me a specific reason as to why he felt this why, all I felt was rejected.

Have you ever felt the pain of rejection? A boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you. You didn’t get that job you hoped for. You didn’t make the team. You didn’t get into the college of your dreams. Or maybe it was as simple as someone not responding to you or getting invited somewhere.

 It’s funny how we deal with rejection. All of a sudden you become so self-conscious and so critical of yourself. You feel embarrassed, lame, pathetic, and just not good enough. You try to pick apart the situation or scenario to find the answer, even if there isn’t one.

But then it hit me – these are ALL LIES. The negative thoughts that we let sink in and consume us, they’re just not true. Because for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. It wasn’t because I had low value and self worth.

The truth is that God had a hand on that situation the ENTIRE time, from the start to the finish. He already knows my heart, my desires, and my dreams. After a few minutes of believing these lies about myself, God gave me an even bigger list of reasons why this was actually a good thing. While I have my own big plans, the reality is that His plans are bigger. I could have stayed upset and told myself I wasn’t good enough, but God wiped all that away just to show me that He is in control and that I AM good enough. Whether he was protecting me, my future, or my heart from getting hurt down the road, I have no idea. All I know is that God loves me a ridiculous amount and that I have to trust in Him COMPLETELY and whole-heartedly, and no boy in this whole world could ever fill that.

No matter what kind of rejection it is, no matter what situation, trust that God knows the deal, and He is looking after you. Because while it feels like a wound and roadblock in that moment, God is smiling because he has something BIGGER and better planned for you. It’s easy to focus on the curse and overlook the blessings, but I PROMISE they’re there if you look for them. And while you might feel like you’re in 2^nd place, 3^rd place, or even last, God will always put you in 1^st, and that is the best place you can be. So don’t sit in your sulk and let these times of temporary disappointment hold you back. Instead, get back out there, because He is continually ready to bless you like crazy!

So here’s to the One who IS just that into you.

-Dee

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I miss you, Christmas cookie. More than you know.

Merry Christmas! More importantly...watch out.

I have walked into a few parties recently and have seen the unavoidable dining room table spread. Chips, cookies, chips, brie cheese platter, chips, meatballs, chips, crock pots and...chips.

These are some kind of like, minty, frosting, shortbread
magic type of cookie. They are, in a word, MY JAM.

And I have walked out of a few dining room table spreads as I wonder what the heck am I going to eat at this party? Food is the great conversation stabilizer. If you don't know what to do with your hands, grab a fork and a plate and do some damage. Comment on how great the spinach dip is. Ask who brought the swedish meatballs and can you get the recipe? Comment on the fact that someone super lame brought veggies and lowfat dip.

This year, I was that super lame someone.

I'll admit, I do feel left out of social situations. I am set apart because I don't get to take part like everyone else does. I can't even walk into the room with Christmas cookies because - if I was an alcoholic, I probably couldn't order a diet coke in a bar, so why am I putting myself in danger? Don't get me wrong, one Christmas cookie won't do me in. But in my life, one Christmas cookie always brings his friends. He brings peppermint bark, peanut butter brownie, cheesecake, hershey kisses, and a host of others that I miss. More than you know.

I don't know if you are about to hit something hard over the next week, but chances are, it's a tough time of year for you. It might not be food, it might be family. Heck, it might be both, plus a few other things! I just want to encourage you that the emotions pass, the cravings subside, and the nights always turn into new days. No food is off limits, but stuffing yourself in order to fit in...is. For me, anyway.

Merry Christmas, peeps. Shoot, now I'm thinking about Easter candy. Crap.

-Liz

Update: I just left my aunt's house where we always have our annual Christmas Eve dinner. It could also be called "Reunion of the Clean Plate Club" or "You Better Eat Seconds or Thirds So We Don't Have a Ton of Leftovers". My cousin makes these BANGING cookies every year. I took a picture of them just to prove to you that they were there, they were my favorite, and I have NO IDEA WHAT THEY TASTED LIKE. Nailed it.


Confession: I did, however, eat some fried oysters and some tasty ambrosia salad. I'm no saint.